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Befriend Your Shame

Sometimes something happens, and we start to feel ashamed. You can transform your shame into kindness and curiosity by performing physical activities from the Wiggle Jar! Just scroll down to start your training.

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First, put your hands on your heart and say, "Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. I will be okay. I made a mistake but I am not my mistake.”

(Really, try it!)


 Next, shake off some of that self-criticism by twisting and punching the air while growling. (If that's too embarrassing, quietly squeeze your fists together 10 times so nobody can see you.)


 Next, gently pinch your eyebrows 8 times.


 And then to finish, take a deep breath and gentle blow compassion on your shame to shrink it to the size of a jellybean.

(Turn on the sound and press play.)


 Then give yourself a high five and say: “I’m proud of myself for admitting my mistake, for allowing myself to feel this emotion, and for being willing to figure out what to do next.” 



Now, ask yourself, “What am I ashamed about? 


No matter what you’ve done, your mistakes don't make you a bad person.   

Shame has shown up to help you get curious about what happened, and to restore your self-esteem.


Most people get stuck in their shame because they don't realize their shame is here to help them.


When you take steps to get curious about your situation (instead of critical), your self-esteem will improve and you won’t feel as ashamed. Instead, you will be curious about why this emotion is here, and what it has to teach you.


If you’ve made a mistake, your shame might have shown up to help you repair it or apologize.


If you’re feeling an emotion that you think you shouldn’t have, your shame might have shown up to help you uncover that emotion. Are you feeling rage too? Or fear? Loneliness? Heartbreak? What emotions are behind your shame? 


Get curious and be proud of yourself. This is one of the most difficult emotions to experience… and you’re doing it!


Let your shame teach you to become more kind and compassionate towards yourself and others, and also accountable when you’ve made a mistake.


This is a tough emotions... so take all the time you need. 

Feeling Anything Else? Return to List of Emotions